December 2006

11 years old

~~

Cold.

That's the first thing I notice. It's so cold that it stings to breathe in.

Then I notice the darkness.

"Mama?" I cry out.

"I'm right here, love. It's going to be okay." My mother's soft voice soothes. It comes from right beside me.

I can tell that something is terribly wrong.

"Don't be afraid Angelica. You need to be strong." This time it's my brother Declan who has spoken.

"Where is Papa?" My quivering voice asks.

"He will be with us soon darling."

The room is suddenly illuminated by a strong burst of light. I blink rapidly.

Once my eyes have adjusted I look around. My eyes widen in horror.

My mother and older brother sit beside me on the floor. We are in a small room with no furniture or windows.

"Ciao.

Hello

" A cold voice suddenly grabs our attention.

A man about my father's age comes into view.

"Pleasure to meet you." His voice is completely void of emotion. "Although, I do apologize for the circumstances."

"Who are you?" My mother demands, her voice doesn't waver.

The man smiles, somehow it makes him look a little less cruel.

"Ah, how rude of me. Allow me to introduce myself. I am Alessandro Alfonsi. You've heard of me, yes?"

Although my mother's expression remains blank but I can see that her face has gone pale.

The man seems to notice it too because his smile suddenly widens. "And this is my son Matteo and my brother Lorenzo." He gestures toward the two men standing beside him.

The one who he introduced as Matteo is young, probably in his mid-twenties. He looks uncomfortable, like he doesn't want to be here.

"È questo padre davvero necessario?"

Is this really necessary father?

He speaks softly.

"Temo di si."

I am afraid so.

His father responds.

"Ma perché ho bisogno di essere qui?"

But why do I need to be here

Matteo demands angrily.

"You need to be here because you need to learn our ways. You are next in line. You cannot neglect your duties forever!" Lorenzo's harsh voice interrupts.

The coldness of Lorenzo's voice makes me whimper. The noise catches his attention and suddenly Lorenzo's cold gaze is locked on me. His hard black eyes are frightening. And in that moment I know I will have nightmares about those eyes for a long time.

"What do we have here?" He walks towards us, taking slow deliberate steps. "So precious." He crouches down in front of me and I press more into my mother's side trying to get as far away from him as possible.

"Please don't hurt my children, I am begging you. You have me. Let them go, they have no part in this. " My mother pleads.

But Lorenzo completely ignores her. His hand reaches out to touch me and I squint my eyes shut in fear.

"Don't you lay a hand on my sister!" Declan suddenly shouts.

I hear a loud thud and the sound of Lorenzo's groan.

My eyes fly open to find my brothers hands around Lorenzo's throat.

"Declan! Stop!" My mother screams but he doesn't listen.

"Enough!" Alessandro's hard voice bellows. "Release him! Or I will shoot her." He points his revolver in my direction.

My brother's hold doesn't loosen. I can see the rapid rise and fall of his shoulders, I can tell that he's angry.

"Do not test me, son. Let him go. I will not repeat myself again."

Declan finally lets go of the man and steps back.

Lorenzo finally straightens up and his furious gaze trains on Declan.

I can feel my heart thudding wildly in my chest.

"You will pay for this figlio di puttana."

Son of a bitch

Lorenzo growls.

He lifts up his shirt, revealing the holster concealed beneath. He retracts his gun and aims it at my brother.

I bite my cheek hard to keep myself from screaming, the coppery taste of blood fills my mouth.

"No need to be rash fratello

brother

." Alessandro speaks up. "It was a mistake. Was it not Declan? Apologize and we can pretend that it did not happen." His lips twist into a sadistic smile. "All you have to do is get on your knees in front of my brother and say you're sorry for what you did." His eyes harden. "Beg for his forgiveness."

For a while there is complete silence.

Lorenzo's lips twist into a smirk as he starts lowering his gun.

I could see that Declan's whole body has gone rigid.

"No." He finally spits out.

"No?" Alessandro demands. "You want to die, boy?"

"I'm not afraid of you." Declan growls.

"Declan please! Just do what they're telling you to." My mother is sobbing now.

Declan turns to her. "No Mama. These cowards don't deserve my apology or your tears. I am not afraid of them and you shouldn't be either."

"Come here boy." Alessandro demands.

"Please don't hurt my brother." I sob as I cling to Declan's leg desperately.

"It's okay Angie." Declan's calm voice soothes as he bends down to hug me. "I need you to be strong for me, okay? I need you to take care of Mama."

He pries my fingers away from his leg.

"No!" I scream pure terror lacing my voice.

"I love you." He whispers before finally stepping away.

"Last chance boy. If you get on your knees and beg me I'll spare your life." Lorenzo says emotionlessly. His black eyes gleaming with pure evil.

"Go fuck yourself."

"Very well." He grins as he aims his revolver at Declan.

"Fermare questo zio, questa è follia."

Stop this uncle, this is madness.

Matteo tries to lunge for Lorenzo's gun but his father stops him.

"You need to watch this son, you need to learn what we do to people who disrespect us." He nods his head at Lorenzo.

I can feel the bile rising in my throat.

Declan's eyes meet mine for the last time. "Close your eyes Angelica."

Tears slip down my cheeks but I do as he says.

The sound of a gunshot and my mother's screams follow.

And then there's silence.

Deafening silence.

My eyes open and they focus on my brother's immobile body on the floor. A crimson pool growing beneath him.

I throw up.

This is not happening.

This is not happening.

"You should really teach your children some manners." Lorenzo sneers at my mother but she doesn't respond. Her eyes are glazed over, still focused on Declan, as if she's pleading for him to move.

"What do you want from us?" My mother's flat voice asks finally.

Alessandro chuckles coldly. "You know what I want. I want your husband to release my men. He is a fool if he believes that he can fuck with us. He will stay out of our affairs from now on if he knows what's best for him. If he wants to see what's left of his precious family again, he'll do as I say."

And then I hear it.

"Impossible." Lorenzo hisses. "I made sure no one was tracking us.

The sound of gun shots and screams suddenly pierce the air.

"What th-" Matteo shouts in surprise.

There's a loud Bang and suddenly Matteo collapses to the floor with a pained groan.

I scream.

Matteo's eyes connect with mine. "Mi dispiace

I'm sorry

" He chokes out before going completely still.

Alessandro calls out Matteo's name in pure terror, the color drains from his face in horror. "No!" He screams in utter agony as he drops to his knees in front of his son's body.

The door suddenly bursts open and armed men start filing in, I recognize some of them.

My eyes suddenly fall on the man who rushes through the door behind them.

"Papa!" I cry out immediately drawing his attention.

All around shots are being fired.

My father rushes towards us. He crouches down in front of us trying to shield our bodies from the never ending rain of bullets.

"Where's Declan?" My father shouts to my mother over the noise but my mother doesn't answer him. She just wraps her arms around him and clings to him like he might disappear if she lets go.

Finally, after what seems like an eternity the firing stops.

"Sir, we've got the situation under control." One of my father's men approaches us. "We've taken down most of their men but Lorenzo managed to escape."

My father still has his arms around us but he responds. "What about Alessandro and his son?"

"They are both dead."

"The boy got caught between the crossfire, bullet to the chest, died instantly. His father Alessandro refused to leave him behind, he shot himself with his own revolver when we asked him to surrender."

My father sighs. "I see." He finally rises to his feet bringing me and my mother with him. "Can you please get Alberto?" He says referring to our chauffeur. He picks me up with one arm and wraps one around my mother's waist.

"I am so sorry, il mio amore

my love

." He whispers softly as my mother starts to sob quietly again.

"Sir, you called for me?" Alberto's voice breaks in.

"Yes Alberto. Please take them home"

He turns to us again. "I love you." He whispers before finally letting go of us.

"I will always love you." My mother whispers back.

"Mr. Vitale a moment please?" One of my father's men calls out desperately. "It's important Sir, it's about your son. I'm afraid we have some terrible news."

I watch as my father walks away.

My mother urges me outside towards the car quickly.

Once we're seated she leans forward towards Alberto who is in the driver's seat.

"Alberto I need you to take me to the airport." She whispers frantically.

"But Madam-"

"Please Alberto if you care even a little about me or Angelica you will do as I say."

Alberto sighs but he starts the car.

"Please tell Carlos that I'm sorry and that I love him." My mother's eyes fill with tears. "Tell him that I don't want him to look for me. I can't raise a child in this world. I can't lose her too."

"Please tell him that we're never coming back.